I am not an expert, just someone who is learning how to follow a mysterious God. Here are some thoughts:
If you haven't yet grasped that truth that God moves mountains with your small faith, I can tell you, I have seen it with my own eyes. The step we miss in that verse is the leaping part. Without the faith you can't move mountains, but without the leap, you won't need faith. Some of us are wondering why we don't see the power that scripture talks about over and over in our lives. But ask yourself this, "Why would God give his power away if it wasn't going to be needed or even used?"
Doesn't it say, his strength is made perfect in our weakness? For so long, I fought to never be in a situation that made me have to feel weak, you know, where I might have to be rejected or alone or vulnerable or God forbid, foolish. It took so much energy, and it availed to nothing (from a kingdom perspective). When we made the leap to become missionaries last year, the theme of our lives became weakness. Yet never before in my life have I seen mountains move that I never thought possible. If something miraculous happens through you or around you, and you can't possibly boast about it because of your weakness, then you have just witnessed the glory of God that Christians talk about. Now you've got something to praise Him about, something to throw up your hands over. And this is the kind of praise and worship He really enjoys.
In my weakness, I have cried out to God for help and longed for him to come close to me. This is worth far more than anything I could do for him or any sacrifice I could give. Weakness has a way of turning our hearts away from other things that steal our attention and affection, and making us sit like children before him, yearning for his love to shine on us. I don't think God likes to see me suffer, (He delivers me all the time from it.) but I do think he is winning me over at whatever the cost. He has a lot of territory to cover in me until I trust him fully. Just when I think I do, He shows me a new part that he wants to conquer.
I figure this, his job is to be patient with me and mine is to lay down and let him work. He's just really good at his job and I'm just not always that good at mine. There came a point in my life, sometime around the time I went through Sozo healing, that I realized what disciple meant. You are a disciple when you stop saying to God, "Anything but that Lord!" He is the potter, right? The potter can fashion you anyway he wants! I would love to see more of my fellow Christians worry less about being weak, and desire more for opportunities to join God in what he is up to. The story of a disciple's life is this...it's not a matter of whether we will experience weakness, it's a matter of what we will do with that weakness. In Galations 4:4-6, it says that Jesus came to redeem us from the law so we could "receive full rights of sons". Now that we are sons, we get rights and our inheritance. I might not get much inheritance on this earth, unless I have a rich aunt who has no other living relatives. But here is my spiritual inheritance... it's the "Spirit of his Son into (my) heart, the Spirit who calls out, "Abba, Father". Whenever I feel overwhelmed or crushed, I grab hold of my right. I cry out "Daddy!" He always comes and never fails.
So if you are struggling with believing that the words of the Bible are real, ask yourself this, "Am I avoiding difficulty and situations which make me feel weak? Do you want others to see you as strong and capable?" Because, if you are, you will not find God's power and strength there. You will not see the glory everyone else is talking about. Try a little weakness in your life. And while you are there, call out the name above all names "Abba, Daddy!" This is where all the good stuff is, I promise!
Wednesday, July 31, 2013
Hello Again!
Thank you for taking time out of your life to read what's on my heart! I pray your will be touched.
Yeah, I realize haven't written on here in a few, well, a lot of months. I have excuses, but truly, I've allowed myself to be discouraged in the area of writing. I actually had to forgive a certain teacher in high school who told me I was never going to be a good writer. Ironically, I was in her AP English (college credit class), and I scored as high as the valedictorian on the AP test. Unbelievable but true how the enemy can use something so long ago to cripple you from fulfilling your destiny. In exchange for the forgiveness I gave, God told me that He wanted me to write and that it brought him great joy when I did. So here I go again. I hope this will encourage you!
I'll just tell you that so much has been happening in our lives, in our hearts that it would take weeks for me to tell you. So I'll just share with you some of the highlights of God's amazing plan for us as it is unfolding. I won't lie to you. This journey we started almost exactly a year ago has been grueling both in the physical and the spiritual. In one year, we have moved our family twice, sold nearly everything we owned, gave our two sweet labs, Maggie and Belle, up for adoption, withstood occasional ridicule, criticism, and misunderstanding, and we have learned how to be content and press forward when the cabinets were bare, the truck needed repair, and work dried up. I've learned that I really can live without new clothes, more than one vehicle, ice in my drink, a dryer that works, a haircut, going out to dinner, and decorating my house like I want to. But there are some things I have discovered recently that I just can't live without. I know that I need time with God everyday, to hear his words of comfort and to remember His promise to always love me and be there because I am his daughter. I can't live without feeling the Holy Spirit making this vision a reality in tangible ways, the miraculous things that he does to manifest His presence and power before my eyes. I can't have peace each day without His kindness, mercy and favor shown to me through encouraging and courageous acts of love by the Body of Christ, those who are living on the edge of faith with me. And a day is not of any value anymore unless I see the glory of God, which He shows me as he keeps redeeming all the brokenness of my life, resurrecting me to new life. I also see his glory in other's lives as he touches them and changes them. So exactly a year ago, we left our job and home at St. Christopher, and we immediately embraced God's plan to send us to Uganda to make the way for more of his light to shine in the darkness. We're moving forward, taking our experiences, good and bad, with us.
Update: We are living on John's Island as we go on short missions for training around the United States (Maine, Florida, North Carolina). Peter continues to suppliment our living as much as he can with doing small home improvement projects for partners within the church Body. Also, we will soon be working with the newest member of our team, Elizabeth Bumpas, who currently works as Conference Center Director at St. Christopher until the end of August. She has amazing gifts and experience that will be important to making this mission a success. We are proud to be missionaries of Global Teams, an amazing organization with 30 years of experience and some of the best Spirit-led people around.
Praise:
Yeah, I realize haven't written on here in a few, well, a lot of months. I have excuses, but truly, I've allowed myself to be discouraged in the area of writing. I actually had to forgive a certain teacher in high school who told me I was never going to be a good writer. Ironically, I was in her AP English (college credit class), and I scored as high as the valedictorian on the AP test. Unbelievable but true how the enemy can use something so long ago to cripple you from fulfilling your destiny. In exchange for the forgiveness I gave, God told me that He wanted me to write and that it brought him great joy when I did. So here I go again. I hope this will encourage you!
I'll just tell you that so much has been happening in our lives, in our hearts that it would take weeks for me to tell you. So I'll just share with you some of the highlights of God's amazing plan for us as it is unfolding. I won't lie to you. This journey we started almost exactly a year ago has been grueling both in the physical and the spiritual. In one year, we have moved our family twice, sold nearly everything we owned, gave our two sweet labs, Maggie and Belle, up for adoption, withstood occasional ridicule, criticism, and misunderstanding, and we have learned how to be content and press forward when the cabinets were bare, the truck needed repair, and work dried up. I've learned that I really can live without new clothes, more than one vehicle, ice in my drink, a dryer that works, a haircut, going out to dinner, and decorating my house like I want to. But there are some things I have discovered recently that I just can't live without. I know that I need time with God everyday, to hear his words of comfort and to remember His promise to always love me and be there because I am his daughter. I can't live without feeling the Holy Spirit making this vision a reality in tangible ways, the miraculous things that he does to manifest His presence and power before my eyes. I can't have peace each day without His kindness, mercy and favor shown to me through encouraging and courageous acts of love by the Body of Christ, those who are living on the edge of faith with me. And a day is not of any value anymore unless I see the glory of God, which He shows me as he keeps redeeming all the brokenness of my life, resurrecting me to new life. I also see his glory in other's lives as he touches them and changes them. So exactly a year ago, we left our job and home at St. Christopher, and we immediately embraced God's plan to send us to Uganda to make the way for more of his light to shine in the darkness. We're moving forward, taking our experiences, good and bad, with us.
Update: We are living on John's Island as we go on short missions for training around the United States (Maine, Florida, North Carolina). Peter continues to suppliment our living as much as he can with doing small home improvement projects for partners within the church Body. Also, we will soon be working with the newest member of our team, Elizabeth Bumpas, who currently works as Conference Center Director at St. Christopher until the end of August. She has amazing gifts and experience that will be important to making this mission a success. We are proud to be missionaries of Global Teams, an amazing organization with 30 years of experience and some of the best Spirit-led people around.
Praise:
- For God's continued provision, even when it seems impossible, for protection over our family
- For our church, St. John's, John's Island- their faith and willingness to go on this journey with us
- For amazing encouragers who keep us moving forward and focused on Jesus and for the generosity of many
- For the beautiful place we live and get to work
- For the privilege of getting to be part of a big vision
- For the lessons in humility, forgiveness, dependence on God, and reliance on grace
- Continued protection and provision for our family
- For Bishop Johnson and his team and for our Bishop and our team
- For meeting montrous challenges that require more than we have
- Against doubt, fear, or discouragement
- For the gifts, experiences, and knowledge of the Body to come forth in unity
Monday, February 11, 2013
No More Shame
In the process of becoming missionaries, God likes to "tighten up your bull works" as Peter, my sailor, would say. He shows you, and at times it's down right overwhelming, the areas of your heart you haven't allowed Him to completely possess. On a conscious level, you just cannot see these blind spots. The Holy Spirit must uncover what our senses and the world covers up. And some of us aren't going to like this part very much, but more times than not, it is through suffering and struggle that this phenomenon happens. Sadly, we live in a way that insulates us from pain and the refining fire of the Holy Spirit.
I used to think it was God's punishment when bad things happened that were out of my control, but through experience, I see it now as His loving intervention. Maybe that was what Paul was getting at when he said he rejoiced in his sufferings. Do we think Paul was a glutton for punishment? Or was it that he had discovered the key to intimacy with God and the transformation and renewal of the mind that comes from the process of suffering. In my life, I have found this to be true.
Here's what the renewal of the mind can look like. I want you to imagine the scene of my life for a moment. I am answering a call of God to leave everything I know and move my family to Uganda to build a Retreat Center. The struggles that come with that are monumental, if you could imagine, the pressures, fears, and temptations push in on me daily.
Then, the enemy takes advantage of the situation and attempts to make me doubt my calling, myself, God's truth and His love for me. For a moment, I think this thought, "It is true that I have many failures and disappointments to look back at. My life hasn't turned out so well after all. Maybe I should listen to what people have said about my failures." Shame is standing right over me, pointing its finger. My foot begins to slip.
But suddenly, I look up at Jesus, and I see Him on the cross, with the shame of the world pointing at Him, jeering, "Just quit you failure!!" I grab hold of His robe and I cry out, "Lord, tell me what you think of me!"
And, His kind yet powerful words came like a flood over me, "Haven't I redeemed your life through all these failures and rescued you from greed, selfishness, and blindness? Haven't I healed you of fatherlessness and hopelessness and insecurity my child? So what if I choose to use what others call failure. It is my good pleasure to do so. My ways are not your ways! Your soul is more precious to me than earthly success and man's approval. Look my daughter, at what we have accomplished together in the trials. You trust me at last, and you no longer have an orphan Spirit. You behave like a child of mine who trusts and obeys no matter the cost, not out of obligation, but because you know my love never fails and you love what I am doing on the earth more than your own interests. Haven't I given you the tools and opened doors to helping people in a lasting way? We know each other in a deep way, and we share everything. Your heart no longer belongs to idols or man, but you willingly gave it over to me because I held you through the pain and sorrow, not them. I trust you now to serve my people and bring light into the darkness.
Do not go back, and do not let anyone take you back to the past. If you do, I will have to let you suffer the consequences of despair and anxiety, not because I desire that, but because I want you to never go back. I am jealous for you! I have clothed you with compassion, mercy, and love. These are what I desire most. I love you. I approve of you. Stay the course."
So I say to the darkness,"No more shame!" Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done!
I used to think it was God's punishment when bad things happened that were out of my control, but through experience, I see it now as His loving intervention. Maybe that was what Paul was getting at when he said he rejoiced in his sufferings. Do we think Paul was a glutton for punishment? Or was it that he had discovered the key to intimacy with God and the transformation and renewal of the mind that comes from the process of suffering. In my life, I have found this to be true.
Here's what the renewal of the mind can look like. I want you to imagine the scene of my life for a moment. I am answering a call of God to leave everything I know and move my family to Uganda to build a Retreat Center. The struggles that come with that are monumental, if you could imagine, the pressures, fears, and temptations push in on me daily.
Then, the enemy takes advantage of the situation and attempts to make me doubt my calling, myself, God's truth and His love for me. For a moment, I think this thought, "It is true that I have many failures and disappointments to look back at. My life hasn't turned out so well after all. Maybe I should listen to what people have said about my failures." Shame is standing right over me, pointing its finger. My foot begins to slip.
But suddenly, I look up at Jesus, and I see Him on the cross, with the shame of the world pointing at Him, jeering, "Just quit you failure!!" I grab hold of His robe and I cry out, "Lord, tell me what you think of me!"
And, His kind yet powerful words came like a flood over me, "Haven't I redeemed your life through all these failures and rescued you from greed, selfishness, and blindness? Haven't I healed you of fatherlessness and hopelessness and insecurity my child? So what if I choose to use what others call failure. It is my good pleasure to do so. My ways are not your ways! Your soul is more precious to me than earthly success and man's approval. Look my daughter, at what we have accomplished together in the trials. You trust me at last, and you no longer have an orphan Spirit. You behave like a child of mine who trusts and obeys no matter the cost, not out of obligation, but because you know my love never fails and you love what I am doing on the earth more than your own interests. Haven't I given you the tools and opened doors to helping people in a lasting way? We know each other in a deep way, and we share everything. Your heart no longer belongs to idols or man, but you willingly gave it over to me because I held you through the pain and sorrow, not them. I trust you now to serve my people and bring light into the darkness.
Do not go back, and do not let anyone take you back to the past. If you do, I will have to let you suffer the consequences of despair and anxiety, not because I desire that, but because I want you to never go back. I am jealous for you! I have clothed you with compassion, mercy, and love. These are what I desire most. I love you. I approve of you. Stay the course."
So I say to the darkness,"No more shame!" Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done!
Sunday, January 6, 2013
Life as a Tetrev Boy
Some of you could be wondering, "What is life like for the boys?" Good question. William is in 4th grade , Peter John is in K-5 and Emory is 3.5.
Many of you know that my degree is in elementary education, and I taught in the private and public schools. When we were at St. Christopher, we decided the Lord was wanting us to home school William. That was first grade.
The boys do daily studies in journaling, writing workshop, reading, geography, math, science, history and social studies, world events and of course, the Bible's teachings are woven throughout. William and Peter John are avid readers and both gifted writers and artists. In fact, William has become a blogger recently. He just loves sharing his ideas and experiences with everyone. Peter John is a prolific artist who creates the most fascinating pictures. Emory is gaining a command of the English Language and his brothers too!
Talk about God blessing our home school endeavors. We are blessed to have two retired teachers as grandmas, and they supply us with tons of resources, advice and materials. The boys get a lot of physical activity, playing soccer, building forts, hiking, wrestling, and exploring the world around them. And life and nature is always presenting authentic learning experiences which create a true love for learning. I'll never forget when we were living at Camp and studying whales, and that same day, a pilot whale beached itself right in front of our house. God is so good to equip us when we obey His calling.
The boys have friends and cousins out to play periodically, and they go to visit friends as much as possible. The go to the park, youth group, Sunday school, church activities, parties, family events, play sports, dance, listen to music, do experiments, go on field trips, build things, create art, play outdoors, build fires, explore, and investigate their world around them.
Some of the exciting opportunities they have had recently were visiting NJ and Maine where they went to nature centers, the LL Bean headquarters, Westpoint, forts and explored their grandparents' property, going to camp at St. Christopher, going on the Disney Cruise to Bahamas, experiencing life while living at St. Christopher, sea turtle patrol, visiting the turtle hospital at the Aquarium, Stingrays hockey, fishing, crabbing, boating and much more.
They get much needed quiet time as well. Studies show that kids develop better when given down time. The boys play with each other, imagine, draw, dream, and talk about life. We spend a lot of quality time together as a family, praying, having discussions, horsing, and thinking of ways to help others.
The boys are always involved in service of some sort. They support missionaries, give their money to the church, helping their family with chores and tasks, and don't forget all the work they contributed at the Camp.
Big Peter is also an amazing teacher. He builds, reads, plays games, and takes the boys on adventures, all things we draw on for their education.
Recently William went on a road trip to NJ at Christmas with his dad. Peter said William was an excellent navigator with thew map, even through Washington DC! They went to an area devastated by the hurricane, and William couldn't help but pick up a broom in this one restaurant and start serving. It's in his DNA to do mission work.
The qualities the Tetrev boys are self-sacrifice, hard work ethic, compassion, prayerfulness, forgiveness, curiosity, enthusiasm and adventurousness, and determination. They know Jesus and what He did for them, and they know their life is about relationship with Him.
2013 will be full of making new friends, seeing wonderful things and learning more about the world God created. Please continue to pray for their protection and provision. If you have any learning opportunities you would like to share, feel free. You know we love a good adventure!
Many of you know that my degree is in elementary education, and I taught in the private and public schools. When we were at St. Christopher, we decided the Lord was wanting us to home school William. That was first grade.
The boys do daily studies in journaling, writing workshop, reading, geography, math, science, history and social studies, world events and of course, the Bible's teachings are woven throughout. William and Peter John are avid readers and both gifted writers and artists. In fact, William has become a blogger recently. He just loves sharing his ideas and experiences with everyone. Peter John is a prolific artist who creates the most fascinating pictures. Emory is gaining a command of the English Language and his brothers too!
Talk about God blessing our home school endeavors. We are blessed to have two retired teachers as grandmas, and they supply us with tons of resources, advice and materials. The boys get a lot of physical activity, playing soccer, building forts, hiking, wrestling, and exploring the world around them. And life and nature is always presenting authentic learning experiences which create a true love for learning. I'll never forget when we were living at Camp and studying whales, and that same day, a pilot whale beached itself right in front of our house. God is so good to equip us when we obey His calling.
The boys have friends and cousins out to play periodically, and they go to visit friends as much as possible. The go to the park, youth group, Sunday school, church activities, parties, family events, play sports, dance, listen to music, do experiments, go on field trips, build things, create art, play outdoors, build fires, explore, and investigate their world around them.
Some of the exciting opportunities they have had recently were visiting NJ and Maine where they went to nature centers, the LL Bean headquarters, Westpoint, forts and explored their grandparents' property, going to camp at St. Christopher, going on the Disney Cruise to Bahamas, experiencing life while living at St. Christopher, sea turtle patrol, visiting the turtle hospital at the Aquarium, Stingrays hockey, fishing, crabbing, boating and much more.
They get much needed quiet time as well. Studies show that kids develop better when given down time. The boys play with each other, imagine, draw, dream, and talk about life. We spend a lot of quality time together as a family, praying, having discussions, horsing, and thinking of ways to help others.
The boys are always involved in service of some sort. They support missionaries, give their money to the church, helping their family with chores and tasks, and don't forget all the work they contributed at the Camp.
Big Peter is also an amazing teacher. He builds, reads, plays games, and takes the boys on adventures, all things we draw on for their education.
Recently William went on a road trip to NJ at Christmas with his dad. Peter said William was an excellent navigator with thew map, even through Washington DC! They went to an area devastated by the hurricane, and William couldn't help but pick up a broom in this one restaurant and start serving. It's in his DNA to do mission work.
The qualities the Tetrev boys are self-sacrifice, hard work ethic, compassion, prayerfulness, forgiveness, curiosity, enthusiasm and adventurousness, and determination. They know Jesus and what He did for them, and they know their life is about relationship with Him.
2013 will be full of making new friends, seeing wonderful things and learning more about the world God created. Please continue to pray for their protection and provision. If you have any learning opportunities you would like to share, feel free. You know we love a good adventure!
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